Part 1: What is Presence?
Presence is not a feeling, action, orientation, or state of being. Presence is not something I can learn, do, or achieve. It is not a time or place that I arrive at or depart from.
Presence is the ground of Being, the fabric or medium (relatively speaking) within which all of Life’s colors become visible.
Presence has no qualities or dimensions of it’s own, thereby making it the perfect and absolute “context” in which all content arises. All of my thoughts, feelings, sensations, and perceptions are rendered knowable by Presence, but Presence itself remains free from any of those modulations.
Consider, for example, if Presence was a pinkish color. Wouldn’t it makes sense that everything that was perceived within Presence would necessarily take on a pinkish hue? The sky would appear pink, my sadness would be pinky, the honed edge of my axe would have a pristine, pink-like sharpness…
It’s obvious that, in order for all experience to arise within and be known by Presence unconditionally, that Presence itself must be free of all conditions.
Because Presence is not itself a quality, dimension, or condition, but is the IS-ness within which all perceivable reality arises, then it is by definition the essential Reality that we are all swimming in. In other words, Presence is another name for Reality (Life, Being, God, Love, The Tao).
Part 2: How is Presence different from “being present”?
If Presence is the ultimate context in which all experience arises, “being present” is the action of paying attention to the content of experience. Being present is primarily a function of paying attention to some thing that is arising in Presence.
When I am being present the implied condition is that there is an object which is being attended to and a subject which is doing the attending. For example, I (the subject) am feeling hungry (the object).
It is impossible to “be present” without being either a subject or object. When I am being present I am always paying attention to some object in awareness.
For this reason, it is actually a profound conundrum to ask someone to “be present” because it implies that there is an action required to know Presence. Keep in mind that Presence is free of conditions, so even one minuscule step in any direction is a step “away” from the already direct knowing of Presence.
It is much more valid to ask someone, “What are you paying attention to?” rather than to ask them to effort to be something that is already the very ground of their being. Asking someone to “be present” is a conundrum because it is literally impossible to not be present.
In other words, I can’t be present, I AM Presence.
What is it that exists when all efforts abate? Presence.
What can I be present to? Anything and everything that’s arising.
In my opinion, it has tremendous value to know what I am being present to, and infinitely more value to inquire into the nature of Presence itself… For this reason, I invite you to dance with me in this inquiry:
“How do I know Presence if Presence is not itself a subject or an object?”
“What is it that knows Presence?”
…Thank you…
Thursday, March 21, 2019
Wednesday, November 28, 2018
43 Yellow Houses
My father and I are driving down Rt 135 from his home in Wellesley, MA to the Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital in Needham for his daily radiation treatment. Some months ago he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and this is day three of a 44-day radiation protocol intended for his recovery.
It’s an easy 15min drive through the caffeinated, early morning suburbs and even though it’s only the third day we’ve done the drive we’ve already begun developing our daily rituals of routine.
On the first day we made the drive I comment that there seems to be an inordinate amount of yellow-painted houses on our “road to recovery”. He agrees and this triggers a delightful camaraderie where we flagrantly ridicule each neighbors choice of yellow while also marveling at the infinity of yellow-hued paints available to home owners. One shade of yellow seems to inspire visions of dog poop and impressionistic art. Another yellow harkens images of bird song and Disney movies. A third yields suspicions of CIA involvement in social media and quickly mushrooms into global-scale conspiracy theory. I relish every moment of our inconspicuous division and classification of yellows as we slowly meander to our medical destination.
On day two we are ecstatic when the monotony of puritan gray houses is disrupted by the sight of a slate-colored house with a magical, canary-yellow door; eureka! We explode into exclamations of joy and disbelief as traditional New England convention is replaced by the absurdity of a sun-colored threshold. It is a bright-eyed blessing in the din of our cloudy commute.
Being the son of my father, who is by trade an artist and creative visionary, I am compelled internally to view this door as a symbol of hope; a beacon of sunshine piercing through the rainy reality of cancer in my 81 year old father. I see this door and cannot help thinking, “He needs for there to be hope in this process. He needs to believe that a full recovery is possible.”
But that’s bullshit. For all I know he may have already mobilized an entire army of angels who are gracefully shepherding him through this experience with ease and confidence. In reality, it is me who needs to reach into the jelly bean jar of emotional colors to pull the sunny bean of hope into clear view. In fact, it is me who needs to tell myself that my dad is going to make it through this experience without too much suffering and without being compromised in his ability to suspect government involvement in all things mundane. It’s me who needs the arbitrary rituals of neighborly condemnation and in-depth discussion of consciousness vs non-duality to continue uninterrupted so my personal life can go on in relative peace.
But what good is non-dual theory if my dad has cancer? Indeed, what the fuck am I doing with my life when my dad recovers from cancer? Without cancer, then I’m just a 43 year-old Masshole living at my parents house spank’n the bologna to various shades of yellow! When Sri Ramana Maharshi (one of the greatest spiritual sages ever to grace the planet) was apparently dying of cancer and was asked what he was going to do about it, he simply replied, “What does cancer have to do with me?”
Yes, exactly; What does cancer have to do with me? And you know what the answer is?
Nothing.
Nothing, because similar to Ramana, cancer is not my business. And guess what, the specific form of treatment my dad chooses is not my business. And my dads body is not my business. And whether or not the CIA is monitoring how many lemon-scented shits I take every day is also not my business…
What, then is my business?
To love my dad. That is the only business I need concern myself with. It’s my job to get the fuck out of bed every day and drive my dad to the hospital for his treatments. To support him in the form of treatment he has chosen for himself and stand by his side as he goes through it. I don’t give a crap what color people paint their houses and it really doesn’t matter if my dad believes in aliens or eats too much sugar. It’s my job to be here because it’s what he needs, and right now what he needs is the exact shade of gold that I need.
I look outside the window of the car as we’re driving and Nature reflects a deep teaching to me: There is never only one leaf on the ground; they always fall together… They always grow together, live together, and are ultimately absorbed back into the huge Flaming-But-Hole-in-the-Sky together. That’s the way life is. Nothing is ever done alone. Nothing is ever separate from anything else. Driving with my dad every day for 44 days to get radiation treatment is not special, it’s natural. It’s what people do for each other. I don’t get in the way of Nature, and I don’t resist my role in the Great Conspiritor’s plan. I don’t add my own ketchup-colored narrative to the crystal translucence of Reality.
It’s my job to support my dad. It’s my job to know exactly how many yellow houses are on our daily healing path. To be always watchful for the ridiculous flaxen vestibule of hope and to exclaim at exactly the precise moment, “Yellow door!”
As we approach the hospital I am intently concluding my analysis of hope, “…41, …42, …43…”. Yes, I choose this. I choose to be with my dad. I choose to engage in these daily, mundane rituals so that we can chuckle and shake our heads in mirthful maligning of other peoples choices, that mirth flowing from the unconscious but poignant fact that we still possess the ability to choose…
It’s an easy 15min drive through the caffeinated, early morning suburbs and even though it’s only the third day we’ve done the drive we’ve already begun developing our daily rituals of routine.
On the first day we made the drive I comment that there seems to be an inordinate amount of yellow-painted houses on our “road to recovery”. He agrees and this triggers a delightful camaraderie where we flagrantly ridicule each neighbors choice of yellow while also marveling at the infinity of yellow-hued paints available to home owners. One shade of yellow seems to inspire visions of dog poop and impressionistic art. Another yellow harkens images of bird song and Disney movies. A third yields suspicions of CIA involvement in social media and quickly mushrooms into global-scale conspiracy theory. I relish every moment of our inconspicuous division and classification of yellows as we slowly meander to our medical destination.
On day two we are ecstatic when the monotony of puritan gray houses is disrupted by the sight of a slate-colored house with a magical, canary-yellow door; eureka! We explode into exclamations of joy and disbelief as traditional New England convention is replaced by the absurdity of a sun-colored threshold. It is a bright-eyed blessing in the din of our cloudy commute.
Being the son of my father, who is by trade an artist and creative visionary, I am compelled internally to view this door as a symbol of hope; a beacon of sunshine piercing through the rainy reality of cancer in my 81 year old father. I see this door and cannot help thinking, “He needs for there to be hope in this process. He needs to believe that a full recovery is possible.”
But that’s bullshit. For all I know he may have already mobilized an entire army of angels who are gracefully shepherding him through this experience with ease and confidence. In reality, it is me who needs to reach into the jelly bean jar of emotional colors to pull the sunny bean of hope into clear view. In fact, it is me who needs to tell myself that my dad is going to make it through this experience without too much suffering and without being compromised in his ability to suspect government involvement in all things mundane. It’s me who needs the arbitrary rituals of neighborly condemnation and in-depth discussion of consciousness vs non-duality to continue uninterrupted so my personal life can go on in relative peace.
But what good is non-dual theory if my dad has cancer? Indeed, what the fuck am I doing with my life when my dad recovers from cancer? Without cancer, then I’m just a 43 year-old Masshole living at my parents house spank’n the bologna to various shades of yellow! When Sri Ramana Maharshi (one of the greatest spiritual sages ever to grace the planet) was apparently dying of cancer and was asked what he was going to do about it, he simply replied, “What does cancer have to do with me?”
Yes, exactly; What does cancer have to do with me? And you know what the answer is?
Nothing.
Nothing, because similar to Ramana, cancer is not my business. And guess what, the specific form of treatment my dad chooses is not my business. And my dads body is not my business. And whether or not the CIA is monitoring how many lemon-scented shits I take every day is also not my business…
What, then is my business?
To love my dad. That is the only business I need concern myself with. It’s my job to get the fuck out of bed every day and drive my dad to the hospital for his treatments. To support him in the form of treatment he has chosen for himself and stand by his side as he goes through it. I don’t give a crap what color people paint their houses and it really doesn’t matter if my dad believes in aliens or eats too much sugar. It’s my job to be here because it’s what he needs, and right now what he needs is the exact shade of gold that I need.
I look outside the window of the car as we’re driving and Nature reflects a deep teaching to me: There is never only one leaf on the ground; they always fall together… They always grow together, live together, and are ultimately absorbed back into the huge Flaming-But-Hole-in-the-Sky together. That’s the way life is. Nothing is ever done alone. Nothing is ever separate from anything else. Driving with my dad every day for 44 days to get radiation treatment is not special, it’s natural. It’s what people do for each other. I don’t get in the way of Nature, and I don’t resist my role in the Great Conspiritor’s plan. I don’t add my own ketchup-colored narrative to the crystal translucence of Reality.
It’s my job to support my dad. It’s my job to know exactly how many yellow houses are on our daily healing path. To be always watchful for the ridiculous flaxen vestibule of hope and to exclaim at exactly the precise moment, “Yellow door!”
As we approach the hospital I am intently concluding my analysis of hope, “…41, …42, …43…”. Yes, I choose this. I choose to be with my dad. I choose to engage in these daily, mundane rituals so that we can chuckle and shake our heads in mirthful maligning of other peoples choices, that mirth flowing from the unconscious but poignant fact that we still possess the ability to choose…
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Complete And Simple Silence
I wrote this poem after awakening out of the dream state into the waking state. I was dreaming of Silence; peaceful, potent, and empty. I awoke from that dream, yet the potency and immediacy of my contact with this silence did not alter. I continued to dream the dream while I was awake.
Only a few times in my life have I continued to dream a dream into my waking reality, and this dream was particularly profound because it was absolutely simple and had no content. An experience that exists identically in dreaming and waking consciousness and is experienced consistently through the transition of dreaming to waking states is quite rare for me... I want to share it with you
Complete And Simple Silence
I woke up today
To a complete and simple Silence
It lacked any qualities
And was not defined
By an absence of any noise
Then I woke up again in my bed
The dreamer rising again into form
From dream state to waking state
From Absolute to I
And yet
As I was born again into this world
Complete and simple Silence remained
All pervasive
All sentient
I've never dreamed about the peace of Silence
But there it was
Complete and simple in Itself
So simple that I fell effortlessly through the gap
And all there was
Was Peace
The peace of no I
Only a few times in my life have I continued to dream a dream into my waking reality, and this dream was particularly profound because it was absolutely simple and had no content. An experience that exists identically in dreaming and waking consciousness and is experienced consistently through the transition of dreaming to waking states is quite rare for me... I want to share it with you
Complete And Simple Silence
I woke up today
To a complete and simple Silence
It lacked any qualities
And was not defined
By an absence of any noise
Then I woke up again in my bed
The dreamer rising again into form
From dream state to waking state
From Absolute to I
And yet
As I was born again into this world
Complete and simple Silence remained
All pervasive
All sentient
I've never dreamed about the peace of Silence
But there it was
Complete and simple in Itself
So simple that I fell effortlessly through the gap
And all there was
Was Peace
The peace of no I
Saturday, September 24, 2016
The Mask and Spiritual Bypassing
Part 1: What is the Mask
There is a psychological function in all human beings whose primary function is to hide anything that is considered "bad" and instead present what is "good". We call this psychological process or phenomenon the Mask.
The Mask is anything that we consciously or unconsciously use to cover over what we believe is not worthy or welcome for display. It is a precise and strategic presentation of an idealized sense of self. It's what we think the world wants from us and what we need to present to the world in order to acquire love, approval, or appreciation. The Mask covers what we deeply fear and subsequently repress.
For example, if I grew up in a family where sadness was not ok, I might develop a fake smile which tries to cover sadness anytime it's experienced. Then, in my adult life, I will tend to default to my smiling everything-is-ok Mask whenever I encounter sadness in myself or others. In this case, smiling is the Mask and sadness is what it's attempting to cover (hide, deny, obscure, etc).
The important thing to understand is that it's not the specific thought, feeling, emotion, or behavior that makes it a Mask. An experience is only a Mask if it's being used to cover over some other experience that is feared and being negatively judged. In the previous example, sadness is considered bad, and so it gets masked with smiling because that's what the person believes the world wants to see instead.
In this way, anything can be a Mask. The only true indicator that it is a Mask is a nagging sense of inauthenticity in our hearts. The Mask is fake, false, "full of shit". It is a saccharine disguise whose effort creates a reciprocal suffering deep within our sense of self. Every ounce of effort put forth by the Mask eventually translates into tension and stress in the heart, mind, and body. It takes a tremendous amount of life-force energy to uphold a Mask, and this sustained, inauthentic efforting is experienced as suffering.
The Mask is a psychological defense system designed to present an "appropriate" self to ourselves and the world. If vulnerability was prohibited in my early childhood environment, then I may develop a mask of power and/or competence to prove to those around me that I am not vulnerable. In my adult life I will deny and suppress vulnerability in myself in order to win the love and approval of my primary care givers (usually my parents) and I will make every effort to appear powerful.
Similarly, in an attempt to rid myself of all vulnerability I might also avoid and condemn anyone else who exhibits or appears vulnerable. I might see someone who is expressing vulnerable feelings and automatically recoil from them in disgust. Or I may try to get them to be more powerful so that I don't have to feel the discomfort of experiencing their vulnerability. In other words, I might try to get them to mask their vulnerability with power so they fit into my world view and my personal identity isn't disturbed.
The Mask is a false self, an attempt to cover over and/or deny anything that the self deems is bad (forbidden unworthy, evil, taboo, wrong, etc)
Part 2: What is Spiritual Bypassing?
Now that we've defined the Mask, let's talk about this catchy new-age phrase called "Spiritual Bypassing". What does it actually mean?
Spiritual bypassing is the phenomenon whereby a person attempts to cover the forbidden aspects of self with a "spiritual" sense of self. Again, the idea is that somehow being "spiritual" is better than being whatever the person considers to be not spiritual.
"Spiritual Bypassing" is just a particular kind of Mask and how that Mask functions. The "spiritual" part refers to a particular belief system that is being exalted; the belief that there are certain feelings, ideas, behaviors that express spiritual attainment or accomplishment. These feelings tend to be exclusively positive, often leaning heavily toward bliss, joy, and a very nauseating version of non-reactivity (repression of negativity). The spiritual Mask tends to assert that "It's all love, man", which, when observed, instantly reveals it's condemnation toward anything that's not love (grief, anger, sadness, evil, envy, hatred).
Basically, the orientation toward being spiritual bypasses and denies all the yucky "unspiritual" stuff by trying to rise above it. It masks and exiles anything that doesn't fit into an exclusively positive world view. Any mask can be frustrating to experience because it's foundation is inauthenticity, and our inherent longing as humans is to experience wholeness and connection. For me, spiritual bypassing is particularly distasteful because it's often shrouded in superiority. Not only am I spiritual and denying all my own negativity, but I also believe that I am better than you because of it!
To identify what Masks might be operating within you, observe when you have a negative judgment about someone else. What is rejected in the self will always be equally rejected in others. If you notice that there is something annoying and/or repulsive about someone else try to determine specifically what it is about them that is intolerable. Once you've identified that, see if there's a way in which you condemn that same experience in yourself. Then try to identify the thought, feeling, emotion or behavior which expresses itself to mask the forbidden experience. This is one way to identify your Mask, and subsequently a very powerful way to move into deeper authenticity in your life.
Here is a small list of possible feelings/behaviors/orientations and what they may be masking:
Anger masks sadness
Arrogance masks inferiority
Beauty masks fear that I won't be accepted for who I am
Politeness masks impulsiveness
Seduction/flirtation masks vulnerability
Submissiveness masks fear of conflict
Superiority masks inferiority
Tension masks sensation
Quiet masks anxiety/power
There is a psychological function in all human beings whose primary function is to hide anything that is considered "bad" and instead present what is "good". We call this psychological process or phenomenon the Mask.
The Mask is anything that we consciously or unconsciously use to cover over what we believe is not worthy or welcome for display. It is a precise and strategic presentation of an idealized sense of self. It's what we think the world wants from us and what we need to present to the world in order to acquire love, approval, or appreciation. The Mask covers what we deeply fear and subsequently repress.
For example, if I grew up in a family where sadness was not ok, I might develop a fake smile which tries to cover sadness anytime it's experienced. Then, in my adult life, I will tend to default to my smiling everything-is-ok Mask whenever I encounter sadness in myself or others. In this case, smiling is the Mask and sadness is what it's attempting to cover (hide, deny, obscure, etc).
The important thing to understand is that it's not the specific thought, feeling, emotion, or behavior that makes it a Mask. An experience is only a Mask if it's being used to cover over some other experience that is feared and being negatively judged. In the previous example, sadness is considered bad, and so it gets masked with smiling because that's what the person believes the world wants to see instead.
In this way, anything can be a Mask. The only true indicator that it is a Mask is a nagging sense of inauthenticity in our hearts. The Mask is fake, false, "full of shit". It is a saccharine disguise whose effort creates a reciprocal suffering deep within our sense of self. Every ounce of effort put forth by the Mask eventually translates into tension and stress in the heart, mind, and body. It takes a tremendous amount of life-force energy to uphold a Mask, and this sustained, inauthentic efforting is experienced as suffering.
The Mask is a psychological defense system designed to present an "appropriate" self to ourselves and the world. If vulnerability was prohibited in my early childhood environment, then I may develop a mask of power and/or competence to prove to those around me that I am not vulnerable. In my adult life I will deny and suppress vulnerability in myself in order to win the love and approval of my primary care givers (usually my parents) and I will make every effort to appear powerful.
Similarly, in an attempt to rid myself of all vulnerability I might also avoid and condemn anyone else who exhibits or appears vulnerable. I might see someone who is expressing vulnerable feelings and automatically recoil from them in disgust. Or I may try to get them to be more powerful so that I don't have to feel the discomfort of experiencing their vulnerability. In other words, I might try to get them to mask their vulnerability with power so they fit into my world view and my personal identity isn't disturbed.
The Mask is a false self, an attempt to cover over and/or deny anything that the self deems is bad (forbidden unworthy, evil, taboo, wrong, etc)
Part 2: What is Spiritual Bypassing?
Now that we've defined the Mask, let's talk about this catchy new-age phrase called "Spiritual Bypassing". What does it actually mean?
Spiritual bypassing is the phenomenon whereby a person attempts to cover the forbidden aspects of self with a "spiritual" sense of self. Again, the idea is that somehow being "spiritual" is better than being whatever the person considers to be not spiritual.
"Spiritual Bypassing" is just a particular kind of Mask and how that Mask functions. The "spiritual" part refers to a particular belief system that is being exalted; the belief that there are certain feelings, ideas, behaviors that express spiritual attainment or accomplishment. These feelings tend to be exclusively positive, often leaning heavily toward bliss, joy, and a very nauseating version of non-reactivity (repression of negativity). The spiritual Mask tends to assert that "It's all love, man", which, when observed, instantly reveals it's condemnation toward anything that's not love (grief, anger, sadness, evil, envy, hatred).
Basically, the orientation toward being spiritual bypasses and denies all the yucky "unspiritual" stuff by trying to rise above it. It masks and exiles anything that doesn't fit into an exclusively positive world view. Any mask can be frustrating to experience because it's foundation is inauthenticity, and our inherent longing as humans is to experience wholeness and connection. For me, spiritual bypassing is particularly distasteful because it's often shrouded in superiority. Not only am I spiritual and denying all my own negativity, but I also believe that I am better than you because of it!
To identify what Masks might be operating within you, observe when you have a negative judgment about someone else. What is rejected in the self will always be equally rejected in others. If you notice that there is something annoying and/or repulsive about someone else try to determine specifically what it is about them that is intolerable. Once you've identified that, see if there's a way in which you condemn that same experience in yourself. Then try to identify the thought, feeling, emotion or behavior which expresses itself to mask the forbidden experience. This is one way to identify your Mask, and subsequently a very powerful way to move into deeper authenticity in your life.
Here is a small list of possible feelings/behaviors/orientations and what they may be masking:
Anger masks sadness
Arrogance masks inferiority
Beauty masks fear that I won't be accepted for who I am
Excessive do-gooding masks fear of being bad
Excessive work/busyness masks fear of intimacy/feeling
Excessive work/busyness masks fear of intimacy/feeling
Happiness masks grief/depression
Intelligence masks ignorance
Laughter masks anxiety/discomfort/pain
Non-reactivity masks rage
Non-reactivity masks rage
Overtalking masks fear of receiving or being seen
Openness masks fear of rejection
Perfection masks fear of failure
Power masks vulnerabilityPoliteness masks impulsiveness
Seduction/flirtation masks vulnerability
Submissiveness masks fear of conflict
Superiority masks inferiority
Tension masks sensation
Quiet masks anxiety/power
Leave a comment and tell me about your mask!
CLICK HERE to experience a Transformational Healing session with Sarkis Love!
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
The Womb of Possibilities
It seems like there are rare moments in life when we are invited, often through extraordinary crisis or struggle, to surrender completely...
The Womb of Possibilities
I want you to fuck me
I want to be destroyed by you
I want you to take me to the edge of what I can tolerate
And hold me there in the ecstatic possibility of total release
Then
Gently and tenderly
Ease back just a whisper
So I can experience the unfolding rapture
Of a full breath
I want you to make me gasp for that breath!
It is in the center of that gasping
That my will to live is born
Before that moment
Before you made me gasp
I was lost in the horror
Of my own preferences
Being tortured by an endless litany
Of self-absorbed necessities:
“I need to be loved” “I need you to accept me” “I need you to be honest with me.”
Fuck that
I need you to fuck me!
With your eyes
With your sounds
With your mountains
With your galaxies!
I need you to penetrate me completely
To take my breath away and give it back to me again, and again, and again
To remind me
That this breath was already given to me
And it will be taken away
When She
Is ready to devour me
Back into the Womb
Of Possibilities
CLICK HERE to experience a Transformational Healing session with Sarkis Love!
www.SarkisLove.com
What if that moment was right now? What if you didn't need to wait for the perfect circumstances to let go? What would actually happen if you lay down and let life take you...?
Before the thinking mind serves you a conveniently logical answer to these questions, take a risk, and read these words...
 |
| Maggi Hambling, Summer Wave Tunnel, 2010 |
The Womb of Possibilities
I want you to fuck me
I want to be destroyed by you
I want you to take me to the edge of what I can tolerate
And hold me there in the ecstatic possibility of total release
Then
Gently and tenderly
Ease back just a whisper
So I can experience the unfolding rapture
Of a full breath
I want you to make me gasp for that breath!
It is in the center of that gasping
That my will to live is born
Before that moment
Before you made me gasp
I was lost in the horror
Of my own preferences
Being tortured by an endless litany
Of self-absorbed necessities:
“I need to be loved” “I need you to accept me” “I need you to be honest with me.”
Fuck that
I need you to fuck me!
With your eyes
With your sounds
With your mountains
With your galaxies!
I need you to penetrate me completely
To take my breath away and give it back to me again, and again, and again
To remind me
That this breath was already given to me
And it will be taken away
When She
Is ready to devour me
Back into the Womb
Of Possibilities
CLICK HERE to experience a Transformational Healing session with Sarkis Love!
www.SarkisLove.com
Saturday, July 30, 2016
The Aloha Spirit
I pull into Patao Gas & Go in Wailuku, HI to get my safety check on my car. There's some confusion on where to wait so I pull into a parking space in order to get out of the road. A man who was there before me rolls down his window and seems a bit angry that I am cutting him in line. I explain my maneuver and he and another gentleman appear to visibly relax, knowing that I'm not trying to cheat them in some way...
It's a long wait before we are to be serviced, so I park my car and run across the street to buy an iced tea. While I'm there, I think of the two men in their big trucks and wonder if they'd like an iced tea as well. I decide that they do, so I buy three iced teas and return to the inspection center.
I walk up to the window of each car and hand each of the men an iced tea. Big smiles and shakas (the "shaka" is widely used hand gesture in Hawaiian culture) prevail, and we all nod and grunt to each other the way men do when confronted with outward displays of affection for each other.
For some reason the line my car is in is taking three times as long as the other line, and I'm starting to become annoyed at the wait. I'm also a bit worried because my financial situation is more tenuous than even my hippie wandering heart feels comfortable with.
Just when my agitated inner dialogue begins to fester into outward complaining, suddenly a man is standing at my window. It's the older of the gentleman whom I gave an iced tea to.
Handing me $20 is cash, he says to me, "I believe in the Aloha Spirit... You made an old man happy today." He pats me warmly on the shoulder and a deluge of grandfatherly warmth radiates from his huge Aloha Heart.
I'd been having a difficult day, so of course I burst into tears when he drives away, but since that moment the difficulty fluxed back into mild sadness from it's previous position of mind-captivating intensity.
I'm not entirely sure what the "Aloha Spirit" is, but I'm pretty sure It's radiance was shining on me today...
I am grateful. Grateful that there is real kindness and generosity that happens between human beings.
Aloha
Ps - My car did NOT pass the safety inspection
Pps - I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's Mint Oreo Cookie iced cream when I got home
CLICK HERE to experience a Transformational Healing session with Sarkis Love!
www.SarkisLove.com
It's a long wait before we are to be serviced, so I park my car and run across the street to buy an iced tea. While I'm there, I think of the two men in their big trucks and wonder if they'd like an iced tea as well. I decide that they do, so I buy three iced teas and return to the inspection center.
I walk up to the window of each car and hand each of the men an iced tea. Big smiles and shakas (the "shaka" is widely used hand gesture in Hawaiian culture) prevail, and we all nod and grunt to each other the way men do when confronted with outward displays of affection for each other.
For some reason the line my car is in is taking three times as long as the other line, and I'm starting to become annoyed at the wait. I'm also a bit worried because my financial situation is more tenuous than even my hippie wandering heart feels comfortable with.
Just when my agitated inner dialogue begins to fester into outward complaining, suddenly a man is standing at my window. It's the older of the gentleman whom I gave an iced tea to.
Handing me $20 is cash, he says to me, "I believe in the Aloha Spirit... You made an old man happy today." He pats me warmly on the shoulder and a deluge of grandfatherly warmth radiates from his huge Aloha Heart.
I'd been having a difficult day, so of course I burst into tears when he drives away, but since that moment the difficulty fluxed back into mild sadness from it's previous position of mind-captivating intensity.
I'm not entirely sure what the "Aloha Spirit" is, but I'm pretty sure It's radiance was shining on me today...
I am grateful. Grateful that there is real kindness and generosity that happens between human beings.
Aloha
Ps - My car did NOT pass the safety inspection
Pps - I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's Mint Oreo Cookie iced cream when I got home
CLICK HERE to experience a Transformational Healing session with Sarkis Love!
www.SarkisLove.com
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Spirituality vs Direct Experience
Part 1: The Myth of Spirituality
Have you also ever wondered, "What does that actually mean?"
I want to confront something that I think holds status as potentially one of the biggest mass delusions operating on this planet. I want to challenge a basic assumption that is built into the entire fabric of our daily existence:
There is no such thing as Spirituality.
Haven't you noticed?! Isn't it curious that when someone uses the word "spirituality," 95% of the time you have to wait at least a few sentences to discover or clarify what they're actually talking about? Isn't it shocking that even two people in the same faith, of the same religion, at the same time and in the same place still do not agree on what experience the word spirituality is actually pointing to?
But that's the current reality of it. Outside of vague concepts and intellectual beliefs, most people seem unable to communicate what their experience of spirituality actually is.
I understand that we need words to talk, and that talking through the use of words is one way that we communicate meaning to each other. I also get that the word spirituality is useful as a pointer to many topics such as the human Spirit, religious beliefs or values, personal growth efforts, sacred or supernatural phenomena, or the search for meaning itself. But, after thousands of years of searching for that meaning, the word spirituality is still elusive in delivering something worth biting into...
With risk of being burned at the stake by all the religious fundamentalists, I'd like to propose that the word "spiritual" is itself a bypassing of a more fundamental issue in the way we operate with each other: I tend to use that word when I don't know what (the bleep) I'm talking about.
Spirituality is basically a synonym for "I don't know." It is everything that is outside of my personal realm of understanding. It generally refers to experiences that cannot be consistently verified or repeated within the realm of my 5 senses.
With risk of being burned at the stake by all the religious fundamentalists, I'd like to propose that the word "spiritual" is itself a bypassing of a more fundamental issue in the way we operate with each other: I tend to use that word when I don't know what (the bleep) I'm talking about.
Spirituality is basically a synonym for "I don't know." It is everything that is outside of my personal realm of understanding. It generally refers to experiences that cannot be consistently verified or repeated within the realm of my 5 senses.
If an experience stretches beyond my personal experience, that is to say, beyond my personal belief system, my mind goes into panic and tries to orient itself toward the known. My mind scrambles for safety by giving it the biggest and most robust label it can find so as to avoid confronting the vast expanse of the unknown, which the ego experiences as the annihilation of it's own existence.
I believe this movement toward using the word spiritual is an escape into the safety of the known, and simultaneously a commitment to imprisonment in the largest conceptual jail cell I've ever be in. If I experience something but I can't immediately see, touch, taste, hear, or smell it, and it doesn't fit into my pristinely decorated sense of self, it either doesn't exist or it has to be scapegoated to the nebulous zone of spirituality.
Instead of hanging out in that unknown, in that limitless space of potentiality, I retreat into the comfort of my own bedazzled cage, and then wonder why I am living this "spiritual" life yet still longing for freedom, peace, and basic connection.
I'm not ever going to feel free if I'm in a cage, even if that cage is painted with murals of God.
I believe this movement toward using the word spiritual is an escape into the safety of the known, and simultaneously a commitment to imprisonment in the largest conceptual jail cell I've ever be in. If I experience something but I can't immediately see, touch, taste, hear, or smell it, and it doesn't fit into my pristinely decorated sense of self, it either doesn't exist or it has to be scapegoated to the nebulous zone of spirituality.
Instead of hanging out in that unknown, in that limitless space of potentiality, I retreat into the comfort of my own bedazzled cage, and then wonder why I am living this "spiritual" life yet still longing for freedom, peace, and basic connection.
I'm not ever going to feel free if I'm in a cage, even if that cage is painted with murals of God.
Part 2: Direct Experience
I invite you to make this inquiry; the next time you or someone else wants to use the word "spiritual" (or God, Love, Energy), first ask yourself, "What am I actually experiencing in this moment?" Pause and notice, “Are there any sensations in my body? Is there a dominant emotion connected to this experience? Is my mind struggling to find meaning within predetermined beliefs or concepts?” If you cannot connect to exactly what you are experiencing here and now, see if you can find the courage to let go... Just let go and be with the experience.
I think it's important to acknowledge that there is something profound and universal, that most people experience, which the mind struggles and ultimately fails to comprehend. Words like God, Spirituality, and Energy are all pointers toward that experience, but the moment that it's labeled it becomes a limited approximation of the real thing. This dilemma is much more an example of the limitation of words than it is a limitation in our ability to experience what the words are pointing to.
If I suspend the need to define, label, or in any way understand what's arising in my experience, eventually the meaning of that experience is confirmed within the direct experience itself. I believe that spirituality is ultimately a search for meaning. And, I notice that the meaning of an experience is inherent within that experience before I label it ("spiritual", or otherwise). The obvious question then becomes, "Is that label necessary for me to know the truth of what that label is pointing to?" I implore you to check this out for yourself.
A friend came to me recently and was complaining about a painful experience she had with her friend. My friend concludes her remarks with something like, "Trust me, he's a slime bag!"
I love my friend, I want to support her. Unconsciously I also want her to love, appreciate, and approve of me... As I was sitting there with her I watched my mind spin in the unknown, "What if it's true that he's a slime bag? Maybe she is in danger. Maybe I should do something about this...!"
But then I noticed that, if I'm honest, I really don't know what this man is like. I've never actually met the man! I noticed my mind wanting to align with her story in order to satisfy my ego's need to feel safe and secure in my friendship with her. Instead of defaulting to believing her, I let go of any judgment of him and returned to what I did know; that my friend is in pain and I care about her deeply. That's the only thing I know for sure.
Without the confirmation of my direct experience I am just another believer. I have to lean into some kind of blind faith or trust that my friend is being honest with me, or follow the vague shadow of past knowns and future possibilities to know what's true. Some days I might falter and seek to fill the gaping void of the unknown with judgments or well educated presuppositions, "Yeah, what an ass; he shouldn't talk to you that way!" On a good day I might try to leap over the unknown with a healthy dose of faith, "Oh, sweetheart, it's all going to work out in the end..."
But, on the best of days, and at the final calling..., faith always yields to direct experience. I won't know what that man is actually like until I experience him for myself. Similarly, if I want to be honest about my life and how I communicate it to myself and others, I need to practice sharing things that are confirmed by my direct experience.
I don't want to be a believer. I don't want to follow in anyone else's footsteps. I don't want to believe anything anyone ever tells me, no matter how spiritual or God-like it sounds. I need to prove it for myself, otherwise I am just a slave in the machine of mass suffering, oppression, and victimhood.
I don't want to be a believer. I don't want to follow in anyone else's footsteps. I don't want to believe anything anyone ever tells me, no matter how spiritual or God-like it sounds. I need to prove it for myself, otherwise I am just a slave in the machine of mass suffering, oppression, and victimhood.
If I don't taste it for myself I will still be hanging by the precarious threads of belief. It's ok to believe as long as I'm ok with being in a position of impotence and dependability. But I don't like being in that position. I don't like being a victim. I'd rather know it for myself, then I am empowered and secure with direct knowledge. Anyone can challenge my beliefs, but no one can challenge my direct experience.
It seems to me that every atrocity that has ever transpired on this planet happened under a blood-stained banner of beliefs. I want to put that banner down. I want to have the courage to not know what this experience means or where any of it is going. I want to take responsibility for all of my labels, especially the glittery spiritual, religious, or new age ones, and stand in the fire of my own Truth.
I want abandon belief and stand in the only confirmation I will ever get; My direct experience.
CLICK HERE to experience a Transformational Healing session with Sarkis Love!
www.SarkisLove.com
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
The Best I Can Do Is Bow
I was recently speaking with some dear friends about Gods and Gurus. One of my friends made a declaration that created a huge response inside me. He said that he would, "...never again bow at someone else's feet..."
There was honor and a deep sacrement of self-empowerment in his statement. A proclamation of freedom and sovereignty that highlighted his liberation as a man from any form of victimhood. In essence he was saying that he no longer needed to bow at the feet of anyone else because he was so deeply established in his own autonomy.
Self-knowledge, self-responsibility, self-reliance; these seem to be high attainments in our culture. If a man or woman walks into a room and everyone can sense that s/he can take care of themselves and is basically at ease in themselves, this is considered a tremendous accomplishment.
Even though I myself acknowledge and respect a completely self-sufficient individual, and even though I respect the autonomy that comes with not needing to bow at the feet of anyone else, it is not respect or admiration that woke up in me when my friend spoke those words.
When he spoke something happened in me which almost brought me to tears right on the spot. I almost fell to my knees upon hearing my heart's wisdom exploding in my own mind, "I would bow at the feet of ANYONE...!"
While skillfully choking back my tears I realized in an instant that there was no one, no thing that I would not bow before, that I would not lower my head and heart to pay my respect to. Men, women, murderers, kings, infants, cripples, beggars, sages, insects, elements, deities, thieves, animals, galaxies, etc... All things manifest and unmanifest came into the center of my heart, and I knew directly without thought or reason that there is no person or thing that is not absolutely sacred.
I don't know how I knew this, and I don't know why it would be important to bow before any and all manifestations, but the simple fact is there will never be a way for me to repay the generosity of this life that I've been given... And so, in gratitude, the best I can do... is bow...
Every day, I bow... I bow in gratitude to all that I am and all that I've been given.
I don't think I will ever understand the sacredness in all things and my impulse to bow to that sacredness (in all its forms). I just know that it's the most important thing I can do, the most important part of my day, the most important gesture I can offer back.
To me, that sacredness is the Source from which all creations emerge. That Source is the engine behind all hearts beating, the silence between all sounds heard, the energy that animates all of our thoughts... It was Source that awakened in me when my friend was speaking and did that anyoying little tap on my proverbial shoulder, "Psst, hey, by the way, every being in existence came from Me (Source)...; take a knee, bro..."
I bow to you because you came from Source, and I bow to you as that Source. You are not beneath me or above me. We came from Source and everything returns to that Source. No, we are not the same in our form, but we are the same in our source. No, we don't have to practice the same religion or agree on what political party to support, but we can agree on our source. Oh, you like strawberry? Rad, I dig mint chocolate cookie. Let's agree that all flavors of ice-cream come from the same source!
You don't have to bow to anyone else. That is my own way of paying respect to all of Life... But I do urge you to consider this: If there is something in this life that you feel does not deserve your respect, something that you willingly, automatically, or unconsciously withhold your love from, find out what needs to move in you to allow that love and respect to flow again... Commit everything to that...
Until there is nothing left in this world that I would not give my love to, that I would not bow to, I am not free. Giving my love freely does not mean that I condone, agree with, or support it, it means that I love it without conditions.
Love without conditions is experienced as freedom...
I want to be free. I want you to be free.
I bow to you.
CLICK HERE to experience a Transformational Healing session with Sarkis Love!
www.SarkisLove.com
There was honor and a deep sacrement of self-empowerment in his statement. A proclamation of freedom and sovereignty that highlighted his liberation as a man from any form of victimhood. In essence he was saying that he no longer needed to bow at the feet of anyone else because he was so deeply established in his own autonomy.
Self-knowledge, self-responsibility, self-reliance; these seem to be high attainments in our culture. If a man or woman walks into a room and everyone can sense that s/he can take care of themselves and is basically at ease in themselves, this is considered a tremendous accomplishment.
Even though I myself acknowledge and respect a completely self-sufficient individual, and even though I respect the autonomy that comes with not needing to bow at the feet of anyone else, it is not respect or admiration that woke up in me when my friend spoke those words.
When he spoke something happened in me which almost brought me to tears right on the spot. I almost fell to my knees upon hearing my heart's wisdom exploding in my own mind, "I would bow at the feet of ANYONE...!"
While skillfully choking back my tears I realized in an instant that there was no one, no thing that I would not bow before, that I would not lower my head and heart to pay my respect to. Men, women, murderers, kings, infants, cripples, beggars, sages, insects, elements, deities, thieves, animals, galaxies, etc... All things manifest and unmanifest came into the center of my heart, and I knew directly without thought or reason that there is no person or thing that is not absolutely sacred.
I don't know how I knew this, and I don't know why it would be important to bow before any and all manifestations, but the simple fact is there will never be a way for me to repay the generosity of this life that I've been given... And so, in gratitude, the best I can do... is bow...
Every day, I bow... I bow in gratitude to all that I am and all that I've been given.
I don't think I will ever understand the sacredness in all things and my impulse to bow to that sacredness (in all its forms). I just know that it's the most important thing I can do, the most important part of my day, the most important gesture I can offer back.
To me, that sacredness is the Source from which all creations emerge. That Source is the engine behind all hearts beating, the silence between all sounds heard, the energy that animates all of our thoughts... It was Source that awakened in me when my friend was speaking and did that anyoying little tap on my proverbial shoulder, "Psst, hey, by the way, every being in existence came from Me (Source)...; take a knee, bro..."
I bow to you because you came from Source, and I bow to you as that Source. You are not beneath me or above me. We came from Source and everything returns to that Source. No, we are not the same in our form, but we are the same in our source. No, we don't have to practice the same religion or agree on what political party to support, but we can agree on our source. Oh, you like strawberry? Rad, I dig mint chocolate cookie. Let's agree that all flavors of ice-cream come from the same source!
You don't have to bow to anyone else. That is my own way of paying respect to all of Life... But I do urge you to consider this: If there is something in this life that you feel does not deserve your respect, something that you willingly, automatically, or unconsciously withhold your love from, find out what needs to move in you to allow that love and respect to flow again... Commit everything to that...
Until there is nothing left in this world that I would not give my love to, that I would not bow to, I am not free. Giving my love freely does not mean that I condone, agree with, or support it, it means that I love it without conditions.
Love without conditions is experienced as freedom...
I want to be free. I want you to be free.
I bow to you.
www.SarkisLove.com
Friday, June 10, 2016
Speaking In The Present
I was speaking with a friend recently about her life and she was telling me about all the things that have transpired in the last week. She seemed sad and generally dissatisfied with her life. At one point she got excited and started talking about a new relationship that was possibly forming. She got about 2 sentences in to the description when again her energy started to plummet back into despair.
It was at that point that I noticed a pattern in her way of speaking that seemed to be contributing to her sense of discontent. I noticed that every time she spoke she was talking in the past tense. This made sense for certain parts of her story to be recounted to me, but it was also systemically problematic because there was never a time in her sharing when her mind could rest in this moment.
What is so important about this present moment in relation to our daily satisfaction?
Simply put, the present moment is the only moment in which anything ever takes place, and therefore the only moment in which satisfaction can be experienced.
If I'm talking about a painful experience then the habit of speaking in the past tense holds some benefit to me since I will effectively avoid feeling the pain of that experience now. Similarly, if I want to refer to a pleasurable or beautiful experience and I am speaking about it in the past tense then I will also be exempt from experiencing that pleasure and beauty as I'm talking. Speaking in the past means I miss the present moment.
Speaking in the past is like telling a story about it that is somehow far away. It creates distance and separation from the direct experience. If I speak about my experience in the present tense then it brings the thoughts, feelings, and sensations of that experience right here and now. Even if I am referencing the past I can still speak of it in a way that honors the feelings and sensations that come along with that story now.
Good story tellers know that one of the secrets to telling a story really well is being able to invoke deep feelings in the listeners as they are listening. If I"m not drawn into the story right now as I am listening then it won't be an enjoyable story to me.
Here's an easy example to demonstrate what I mean:
Let's say that I walk into my kitchen and on the counter is a piece of paper and next to the paper is a slice of cheesecake. On the piece of paper is a detailed description of what cheesecake tastes like. Which one is going to satisfy my hunger more, reading the story about cheesecake or taking a bite of the real cheesecake? Um, duh, eating the actual cheesecake!
The words on the page are similar to the words in my mind; they are empty and will never satisfy my hunger. Only the direct experience of eating cheesecake and being totally present to that experience will satisfy my hunger.
Even still, I may take a bite of the actual cheesecake, but if my mind is thinking in the past I also won't enjoy it. If my mind is in the past I'll miss the experience I'm having right now, "Wow, remember that time I had cheesecake in Vienna?!" The exact moments I was lost in thoughts of Vienna I was also not here tasting cheesecake.
You can see now why some people compulsively overeat. They become so anxious and stressed while they are eating that by the time they've finished their meal they haven't tasted one bite! They eat more because they weren't actually present to the experience of eating; they missed it!
Similarly, future thinking is just the past projected into the future, "Wow, this cheesecake would be way better if we had some whipped cream..." How do you know to think that whipped cream would potentially enhance your cheesecake? Because you had that experience sometime in the past! Past thinking is thoughts about the past, and future thinking is thoughts about the past projected into the future.
Bringing my attention into this moment is a sensual experience because I literally have to reference my senses to speak about the experience I am having. If I speak in the past tense then I am already at least one step removed from the experience and even the most ecstatic story will be (at best) half as satisfying as the real thing. Speaking in the past tense is disconnecting, unsatisfying, and destroys the possibility of intimacy and satisfaction.
Ultimately, it's not about the cheesecake, it's about learning to direct my mind into this present moment and speaking from that place so that all the satisfaction that is already here can be taken in and experienced. When I catch myself speaking in the past, I can pause and ask myself, "What am I experiencing right now?" I can see what it's like to share what feelings and sensations arise for me as I reference my direct experience. I can take a bite of cheesecake and describe to my friend what it's like now, and avoid speaking in the past, "Mmm, I notice a soft sensation in my mouth, and my heart is fluttering a bit. I feel happy and my face is suddenly warmer...".
Isn't speaking in the present tense sexy?!
CLICK HERE to experience a Transformational Healing session with Sarkis Love!
www.SarkisLove.com
CLICK HERE to experience a Transformational Healing session with Sarkis Love!
www.SarkisLove.com
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
The Power of Being a Nobody
This is dedicated to all the people who want to be free and who suffer from the chronic disease of "I am not enough."
I bless you...
----------------------------------------------------------------
For many years I have engaged in a relentless pursuit of happiness through the hope of being a Somebody. What is a Somebody? A Somebody is the person who I think I am. My identity.
Being a Somebody means I know who I am, what I stand for, my values, opinions, and beliefs. It means that when other people refer to me they say things like, "Oh, yes, Sarkis, he's a therapist", or, "I know Sarkis, he's a dancer." "Sarkis, hmm, is he that bearded guy that wears pink pants and is never wearing a shirt...?"
Being a Somebody means that who I am is defined by some aspect of what I do or what I have done in the past. If I am a lawyer, then that is true because I study or practice law. If I am a soccer player, that is dependent on the fact that I play soccer.
But is this really who I am? Is who I am defined by what I do?
No!
Actually, being a Somebody has nothing at all to do with what I do. Who I think I am, the Somebody that I believe myself to be, is entirely dependent on one thing alone: Belief!
If I believe that I am a soccer player and other people believe that I am a soccer player then that is the Somebody that the world identifies me as.
This pursuit of being a Somebody at first seems innocent, but the second I embark on being a Somebody then it immediately follows that I have to be a better Somebody, an important Somebody, a successful Somebody, and so on. Once I engage in trying to be a Somebody then that identity becomes heavily burdened by the need to live up to the image of my ideal Somebody. Trying to live up to my idealized self-image creates an internal struggle because it's impossible to actually live up to that ideal.
Trying to live up to my idealized self-image creates a deep shadow of unworthiness. With any exertion I make toward an idealized self I will at some point experience the deficient opposite of that identity. If I'm pushing in my life to be a successful writer then it automatically follows that I will fear the deficient identity; being a failed writer, an unknown writer, a boring writer...
The crazy thing is, this idealized self is totally made up! This Somebody is a complete fabrication that is just a collection of recycled thoughts. There is no identity, really. Just a thought that "I am a writer" repeating endlesly in my mind.
There's nothing wrong with thinking I'm a Somebody, as long as I don't attach to that thought. If I attach to that thought I may experience any number of highs and lows in my emotional life, but the end result will very often be the same: I will suffer.
There's no way around this. All suffering comes from believing thoughts that aren't true. If I believe I am a peaceful man then whenever I feel anger I'll have to suffer the loss of my identity. If I believe I am powerful because I have lots of money, then I have to suffer tremendously when I lose all my money in the stock market crash. If I believe that who I am is being a mother, then my peace is dependent on the life of my children. This dependency on identity is the root of suffering...
Spoiler Alert!: If you examine all the deepest and most painful experiences you've ever had in your entire life, there will be one thing common to all of them; ...YOU! You are at the center of all your problems. Take away the identity, the "me", and there is no problem. I don't mean to say that you are causing your problems or that you are a victim of your problems. I mean that attaching in any way to an identity (which are just thoughts) is what creates the sense of suffering. No you, no suffering.
There is power in being a Nobody because then there is nothing to lose. I can still play soccer, practice law, and drink my green tea latte every day and enjoy every ecstatic moment of it. But once I attach to the belief that I am a soccer player, I am a lawyer, I am that guy who drinks green tea latte's every day, then I set myself up for a big fall. The more entrenched I am in my attachment the deeper the suffering I will experience. The less attached I am to being a Somebody the more freedom I will experience.
How do I avoid the suffering of being a Somebody? Well, first, see what it's like to be a Nobody for a day. See what it's like to suspend the impulse to take ownership of your thoughts and feelings and instead be present to what experiences are arising in you now, without attaching to them.
Instead of saying, "I am sad" (which is a statement that turns the feeling of sadness into an identity of sadness), try saying to yourself, "I notice sadness arising...". The first way turns sadness into a heavy entity which then has to be in opposition to whatever else wants to arise in awareness in that moment. It's like tying the boat of attention to a dock of sadness and staying fixated there. Can you feel how limiting that is, and how that limitation immediately brings with it a sense of suffering?
The second way puts the focus of attention on the one who is observing sadness as an experience that is temporarily arising in consciousness. It's like sitting by a river, profoundly awake to every moment, and noticing sadness as it gently (or sometimes very roughly) passes by. Can you feel that when I identify with the Observing aspect of consciousness there comes with that an inherent sense of freedom and peace?
Sense it now... Pause and sense how when experiences are allowed to come and go, without identifying with them, there is a profound spaciousness that has built into it satisfaction and peace.
This is the power of being a Nobody. Being a Nobody means that I do not attach to any of my thoughts, feelings, sensations, impulses, ideas, theories, concepts, attitudes, or beliefs... I take no position and am therefore never in opposition... Therein lies the freedom and peace I've been searching for my entire life.
Once life shifts away from the confinement of being a specific Somebody, then I am absolutely free to be anybody! I am free to experience anything at any time. I allow anything and everything to arise within me. And, what is the catchy word that people use to describe the anything and everything of life? .................. God.
Oops.
Wait, did he just say that the power of being a Nobody means that I am God?
Yup.
CLICK HERE to experience a Transformational Healing session with Sarkis Love!
www.SarkisLove.com
I bless you...
----------------------------------------------------------------
For many years I have engaged in a relentless pursuit of happiness through the hope of being a Somebody. What is a Somebody? A Somebody is the person who I think I am. My identity.
Being a Somebody means I know who I am, what I stand for, my values, opinions, and beliefs. It means that when other people refer to me they say things like, "Oh, yes, Sarkis, he's a therapist", or, "I know Sarkis, he's a dancer." "Sarkis, hmm, is he that bearded guy that wears pink pants and is never wearing a shirt...?"
Being a Somebody means that who I am is defined by some aspect of what I do or what I have done in the past. If I am a lawyer, then that is true because I study or practice law. If I am a soccer player, that is dependent on the fact that I play soccer.
But is this really who I am? Is who I am defined by what I do?
No!
Actually, being a Somebody has nothing at all to do with what I do. Who I think I am, the Somebody that I believe myself to be, is entirely dependent on one thing alone: Belief!
If I believe that I am a soccer player and other people believe that I am a soccer player then that is the Somebody that the world identifies me as.
This pursuit of being a Somebody at first seems innocent, but the second I embark on being a Somebody then it immediately follows that I have to be a better Somebody, an important Somebody, a successful Somebody, and so on. Once I engage in trying to be a Somebody then that identity becomes heavily burdened by the need to live up to the image of my ideal Somebody. Trying to live up to my idealized self-image creates an internal struggle because it's impossible to actually live up to that ideal.
Trying to live up to my idealized self-image creates a deep shadow of unworthiness. With any exertion I make toward an idealized self I will at some point experience the deficient opposite of that identity. If I'm pushing in my life to be a successful writer then it automatically follows that I will fear the deficient identity; being a failed writer, an unknown writer, a boring writer...
The crazy thing is, this idealized self is totally made up! This Somebody is a complete fabrication that is just a collection of recycled thoughts. There is no identity, really. Just a thought that "I am a writer" repeating endlesly in my mind.
There's nothing wrong with thinking I'm a Somebody, as long as I don't attach to that thought. If I attach to that thought I may experience any number of highs and lows in my emotional life, but the end result will very often be the same: I will suffer.
There's no way around this. All suffering comes from believing thoughts that aren't true. If I believe I am a peaceful man then whenever I feel anger I'll have to suffer the loss of my identity. If I believe I am powerful because I have lots of money, then I have to suffer tremendously when I lose all my money in the stock market crash. If I believe that who I am is being a mother, then my peace is dependent on the life of my children. This dependency on identity is the root of suffering...
Spoiler Alert!: If you examine all the deepest and most painful experiences you've ever had in your entire life, there will be one thing common to all of them; ...YOU! You are at the center of all your problems. Take away the identity, the "me", and there is no problem. I don't mean to say that you are causing your problems or that you are a victim of your problems. I mean that attaching in any way to an identity (which are just thoughts) is what creates the sense of suffering. No you, no suffering.
There is power in being a Nobody because then there is nothing to lose. I can still play soccer, practice law, and drink my green tea latte every day and enjoy every ecstatic moment of it. But once I attach to the belief that I am a soccer player, I am a lawyer, I am that guy who drinks green tea latte's every day, then I set myself up for a big fall. The more entrenched I am in my attachment the deeper the suffering I will experience. The less attached I am to being a Somebody the more freedom I will experience.
How do I avoid the suffering of being a Somebody? Well, first, see what it's like to be a Nobody for a day. See what it's like to suspend the impulse to take ownership of your thoughts and feelings and instead be present to what experiences are arising in you now, without attaching to them.
Instead of saying, "I am sad" (which is a statement that turns the feeling of sadness into an identity of sadness), try saying to yourself, "I notice sadness arising...". The first way turns sadness into a heavy entity which then has to be in opposition to whatever else wants to arise in awareness in that moment. It's like tying the boat of attention to a dock of sadness and staying fixated there. Can you feel how limiting that is, and how that limitation immediately brings with it a sense of suffering?
The second way puts the focus of attention on the one who is observing sadness as an experience that is temporarily arising in consciousness. It's like sitting by a river, profoundly awake to every moment, and noticing sadness as it gently (or sometimes very roughly) passes by. Can you feel that when I identify with the Observing aspect of consciousness there comes with that an inherent sense of freedom and peace?
Sense it now... Pause and sense how when experiences are allowed to come and go, without identifying with them, there is a profound spaciousness that has built into it satisfaction and peace.
This is the power of being a Nobody. Being a Nobody means that I do not attach to any of my thoughts, feelings, sensations, impulses, ideas, theories, concepts, attitudes, or beliefs... I take no position and am therefore never in opposition... Therein lies the freedom and peace I've been searching for my entire life.
Once life shifts away from the confinement of being a specific Somebody, then I am absolutely free to be anybody! I am free to experience anything at any time. I allow anything and everything to arise within me. And, what is the catchy word that people use to describe the anything and everything of life? .................. God.
Oops.
Wait, did he just say that the power of being a Nobody means that I am God?
Yup.
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