✨14 Years Ago…
…I’m in Rishikesh, India, at a hostel that sits on the banks of the Ganges river. I’ve been traveling for five months and I’m nearing the end of my travels in this wild and sacred land.
On my first day in Rishikesh, I decide to go out and explore. To leave the hostel, it’s necessary to cross the courtyard and go through a wooden doorway that leads to the street. As I’m crossing the courtyard, my consciousness suddenly descends into slow motion, and I find myself captivated by the ambulation of a lithe woman. She’s strolling down the street, and our paths are about to intersect exactly when I walk through the doorway of the courtyard. She’s in slow motion. I’m in slow motion. The universe is in slow motion, and time and space are conspiring to intersect our paths toward imminent connection.
As I walk through the doorway she is directly in front of me. Her head turns suddenly to meet my eyes and I casually say hello. To my great surprise, she violently startles, physically draws back, and appears deeply confronted by my approach.
I myself am shocked, for multiple reasons… First, the dramatic shift in my consciousness clearly has no correlation to whether or not this woman wants to connect with me. Second, it’s not until I am face-to-face with her that I realize something quite radical has just transpired; the entire time I had been watching her walk down the street I was viewing her THROUGH the brick wall that encapsulates the courtyard! I was having the experience of watching her walk down the street, but from her perspective, I was a strange man suddenly appearing from out of nowhere.
She speaks in a voice that is almost yelling, “Can I help you?!”
I’m flabbergasted and try to sputter coherent words, “Well, I…, um…, wanted to…”. My words don’t have a chance to ascend to the full potential of their nonsense before she is yelling again, “What do you want?!”
Ah, yes, well, about that… It’s quite simple; I went into a profoundly altered state of consciousness in which I began to view you in real time through that brick wall over there, and then magically imbued our imminent convergence with deep meaning and potentiated purpose, culminating in this jackass moment where I am now flagrantly failing in the simple attempt to say hello to you…
I pause, taking in the fact that this encounter is shockingly lower on her awesome scale than I could have anticipated, and quickly course-correct, “I’m so sorry to have bothered you…”
I’m not sure if she attempted to spit on me, or if the amplitude of her relief forced an inordinate amount of air suddenly through her lips, but she seems to approve of my response and significantly relaxes. As her scathing grimace is radiantly transforming into general disgust, I give the customary hand-to-heart bow and perform a new-age ninja retreat into the dusty whir of the morning India streets…
✨A Couple Weeks Ago…
…in Boulder, CO, I was having dinner with my father while we were waiting all day for the brakes on his car to be serviced. As we exit the restaurant I pause and say to my dad, “You see that woman over there with the red sweater? I once had an extraordinary encounter with her in India…”
I tell him the whole story, and while he’s unabashedly observing her, something simple and deep is unfolding in my heart: I feel a great love and appreciation for him. Love comes pouring out of my being toward this 85 year old embodiment of scientific curiosity and artistic engagement. I inwardly bow in gratitude to him, and to this woman whom I encountered in India years ago, who now seems to be the protagonist not only of a supernatural encounter, but also the blossoming of deep care and affection for my father.
✨Just This Morning…
…I woke up from a dream in which I could see my mother’s eyes; just her eyes.
Not the eyes of the woman who is currently battling dementia and generally exists in a state of heightened agitation and fear; No… No! A young woman, maybe 18 years of age, razor sharp in her mind, exploding with presence and potential. The eyes of a luminous tempest who knows she can do anything and is completely awake to her power and purpose in this world.
As I look into those eyes, they are steady, calm and crackling with aliveness, while at the same time deeply comforting, as if holding me in an ocean of compassion and understanding. In that way that cannot be explained through conventional forms of speech, her eyes communicate to me a simple, benign truth;
She loves me, and she is going to die.
Yes…Yes…She loves me, I love her, and she is going to die, and its totally ok…
✨Right Now In My Bed…
…I am writing this story, wondering if I’ll allow my mind to thread these events together into the fabric of a coherent narrative. But, quite honestly, I don’t want to… I don’t want to jump ahead of this moment in time. I don’t want to miss what’s happening now by trying to anticipate what’s going to happen next, or rationally understand what’s happened in the past. Time and space are slowing way down again; slowing down so much that all that’s left is the fertile, simple and expansive ground of Now…
…I’m here now…
Now!
Thank you
