The Mask and Spiritual Bypassing

Part 1: What is the Mask

There is a psychological function in all human beings whose primary function is to hide anything that is considered "bad" and instead present what is "good". We call this psychological process or phenomenon the Mask.

The Mask is anything that we consciously or unconsciously use to cover over what we believe is not worthy or welcome for display. It is a precise and strategic presentation of an idealized sense of self. It's what we think the world wants from us and what we need to present to the world in order to acquire love, approval, or appreciation. The Mask covers what we deeply fear and subsequently repress.

For example, if I grew up in a family where sadness was not ok, I might develop a fake smile which tries to cover sadness anytime it's experienced. Then, in my adult life, I will tend to default to my smiling everything-is-ok Mask whenever I encounter sadness in myself or others. In this case, smiling is the Mask and sadness is what it's attempting to cover (hide, deny, obscure, etc).

The important thing to understand is that it's not the specific thought, feeling, emotion, or behavior that makes it a Mask. An experience is only a Mask if it's being used to cover over some other experience that is feared and being negatively judged. In the previous example, sadness is considered bad, and so it gets masked with smiling because that's what the person believes the world wants to see instead.

In this way, anything can be a Mask. The only true indicator that it is a Mask is a nagging sense of inauthenticity in our hearts. The Mask is fake, false, "full of shit". It is a saccharine disguise whose effort creates a reciprocal suffering deep within our sense of self. Every ounce of effort put forth by the Mask eventually translates into tension and stress in the heart, mind, and body. It takes a tremendous amount of life-force energy to uphold a Mask, and this sustained, inauthentic efforting is experienced as suffering.

The Mask is a psychological defense system designed to present an "appropriate" self to ourselves and the world. If vulnerability was prohibited in my early childhood environment, then I may develop a mask of power and/or competence to prove to those around me that I am not vulnerable. In my adult life I will deny and suppress vulnerability in myself in order to win the love and approval of my primary care givers (usually my parents) and I will make every effort to appear powerful.

Similarly, in an attempt to rid myself of all vulnerability I might also avoid and condemn anyone else who exhibits or appears vulnerable. I might see someone who is expressing vulnerable feelings and automatically recoil from them in disgust. Or I may try to get them to be more powerful so that I don't have to feel the discomfort of experiencing their vulnerability. In other words, I might try to get them to mask their vulnerability with power so they fit into my world view and my personal identity isn't disturbed.

The Mask is a false self, an attempt to cover over and/or deny anything that the self deems is bad (forbidden unworthy, evil, taboo, wrong, etc)

Part 2: What is Spiritual Bypassing?

Now that we've defined the Mask, let's talk about this catchy new-age phrase called "Spiritual Bypassing". What does it actually mean?

Spiritual bypassing is the phenomenon whereby a person attempts to cover the forbidden aspects of self with a "spiritual" sense of self. Again, the idea is that somehow being "spiritual" is better than being whatever the person considers to be not spiritual.  

"Spiritual Bypassing" is just a particular kind of Mask and how that Mask functions. The "spiritual" part refers to a particular belief system that is being exalted; the belief that there are certain feelings, ideas, behaviors that express spiritual attainment or accomplishment. These feelings tend to be exclusively positive, often leaning heavily toward bliss, joy, and a very nauseating version of non-reactivity (repression of negativity). The spiritual Mask tends to assert that "It's all love, man", which, when observed, instantly reveals it's condemnation toward anything that's not love (grief, anger, sadness, evil, envy, hatred).

Basically, the orientation toward being spiritual bypasses and denies all the yucky "unspiritual" stuff by trying to rise above it. It masks and exiles anything that doesn't fit into an exclusively positive world view. Any mask can be frustrating to experience because it's foundation is inauthenticity, and our inherent longing as humans is to experience wholeness and connection. For me, spiritual bypassing is particularly distasteful because it's often shrouded in superiority.  Not only am I spiritual and denying all my own negativity, but I also believe that I am better than you because of it!

To identify what Masks might be operating within you, observe when you have a negative judgment about someone else. What is rejected in the self will always be equally rejected in others. If you notice that there is something annoying and/or repulsive about someone else try to determine specifically what it is about them that is intolerable. Once you've identified that, see if there's a way in which you condemn that same experience in yourself. Then try to identify the thought, feeling, emotion or behavior which expresses itself to mask the forbidden experience. This is one way to identify your Mask, and subsequently a very powerful way to move into deeper authenticity in your life.

Here is a small list of possible feelings/behaviors/orientations and what they may be masking:

Anger masks sadness
Arrogance masks inferiority
Beauty masks fear that I won't be accepted for who I am

Excessive do-gooding masks fear of being bad
Excessive work/busyness masks fear of intimacy/feeling

Happiness masks grief/depression

Intelligence masks ignorance

Laughter masks anxiety/discomfort/pain
Non-reactivity masks rage 

Overtalking masks fear of receiving or being seen

Openness masks fear of rejection

Perfection masks fear of failure

Power masks vulnerability
Politeness masks impulsiveness
Seduction/flirtation masks vulnerability
Submissiveness masks fear of conflict
Superiority masks inferiority
Tension masks sensation
Quiet masks anxiety/power

Leave a comment and tell me about your mask!

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The Womb of Possibilities

It seems like there are rare moments in life when we are invited, often through extraordinary crisis or struggle, to surrender completely...

What if that moment was right now?  What if you didn't need to wait for the perfect circumstances to let go? What would actually happen if you lay down and let life take you...?

Before the thinking mind serves you a conveniently logical answer to these questions, take a risk, and read these words...

Maggi Hambling, Summer Wave Tunnel, 2010

The Womb of Possibilities

I want you to fuck me
I want to be destroyed by you
I want you to take me to the edge of what I can tolerate
And hold me there in the ecstatic possibility of total release

Then
Gently and tenderly
Ease back just a whisper
So I can experience the unfolding rapture
Of a full breath

I want you to make me gasp for that breath!
It is in the center of that gasping
That my will to live is born

Before that moment
Before you made me gasp
I was lost in the horror
Of my own preferences
Being tortured by an endless litany
Of self-absorbed necessities:
“I need to be loved” “I need you to accept me” “I need you to be honest with me.”

Fuck that
I need you to fuck me!
With your eyes
With your sounds
With your mountains
With your galaxies!

I need you to penetrate me completely
To take my breath away and give it back to me again, and again, and again
To remind me
That this breath was already given to me
And it will be taken away
When She
Is ready to devour me
Back into the Womb
Of Possibilities




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The Aloha Spirit

I pull into Patao Gas & Go in Wailuku, HI to get my safety check on my car. There's some confusion on where to wait so I pull into a parking space in order to get out of the road. A man who was there before me rolls down his window and seems a bit angry that I am cutting him in line. I explain my maneuver and he and another gentleman appear to visibly relax, knowing that I'm not trying to cheat them in some way...

It's a long wait before we are to be serviced, so I park my car and run across the street to buy an iced tea. While I'm there, I think of the two men in their big trucks and wonder if they'd like an iced tea as well. I decide that they do, so I buy three iced teas and return to the inspection center.

I walk up to the window of each car and hand each of the men an iced tea. Big smiles and shakas (the "shaka" is widely used hand gesture in Hawaiian culture) prevail, and we all nod and grunt to each other the way men do when confronted with outward displays of affection for each other.

For some reason the line my car is in is taking three times as long as the other line, and I'm starting to become annoyed at the wait. I'm also a bit worried because my financial situation is more tenuous than even my hippie wandering heart feels comfortable with.

Just when my agitated inner dialogue begins to fester into outward complaining, suddenly a man is standing at my window. It's the older of the gentleman whom I gave an iced tea to.

Handing me $20 is cash, he says to me, "I believe in the Aloha Spirit... You made an old man happy today." He pats me warmly on the shoulder and a deluge of grandfatherly warmth radiates from his huge Aloha Heart.

I'd been having a difficult day, so of course I burst into tears when he drives away, but since that moment the difficulty fluxed back into mild sadness from it's previous position of mind-captivating intensity.

I'm not entirely sure what the "Aloha Spirit" is, but I'm pretty sure It's radiance was shining on me today...

I am grateful. Grateful that there is real kindness and generosity that happens between human beings.
Aloha

Ps - My car did NOT pass the safety inspection
Pps - I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's Mint Oreo Cookie iced cream when I got home



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Spirituality vs Direct Experience

Part 1: The Myth of Spirituality 

Have you ever had a spiritual experience? Have you ever heard someone talking about their spiritual teacher or their spiritual beliefs? Maybe you have a friend who, according to you and/or them, is very spiritual or living a spiritual life?

Have you also ever wondered, "What does that actually mean?"

I want to confront something that I think holds status as potentially one of the biggest mass delusions operating on this planet. I want to challenge a basic assumption that is built into the entire fabric of our daily existence:


There is no such thing as Spirituality.

Haven't you noticed?! Isn't it curious that when someone uses the word "spirituality," 95% of the time you have to wait at least a few sentences to discover or clarify what they're actually talking about? Isn't it shocking that even two people in the same faith, of the same religion, at the same time and in the same place still do not agree on what experience the word spirituality is actually pointing to?

But that's the current reality of it. Outside of vague concepts and intellectual beliefs, most people seem unable to communicate what their experience of spirituality actually is.

I understand that we need words to talk, and that talking through the use of words is one way that we communicate meaning to each other.  I also get that the word spirituality is useful as a pointer to many topics such as the human Spirit, religious beliefs or values, personal growth efforts, sacred or supernatural phenomena, or the search for meaning itself.  But, after thousands of years of searching for that meaning, the word spirituality is still elusive in delivering something worth biting into...

With risk of being burned at the stake by all the religious fundamentalists, I'd like to propose that the word "spiritual" is itself a bypassing of a more fundamental issue in the way we operate with each other: I tend to use that word when I don't know what (the bleep) I'm talking about.


Spirituality is basically a synonym for "I don't know." It is everything that is outside of my personal realm of understanding. It generally refers to experiences that cannot be consistently verified or repeated within the realm of my 5 senses. 

If an experience stretches beyond my personal experience, that is to say, beyond my personal belief system, my mind goes into panic and tries to orient itself toward the known. My mind scrambles for safety by giving it the biggest and most robust label it can find so as to avoid confronting the vast expanse of the unknown, which the ego experiences as the annihilation of it's own existence.

I believe this movement toward using the word spiritual is an escape into the safety of the known, and simultaneously a commitment to imprisonment in the largest conceptual jail cell I've ever be in. If I experience something but I can't immediately see, touch, taste, hear, or smell it, and it doesn't fit into my pristinely decorated sense of self, it either doesn't exist or it has to be scapegoated to the nebulous zone of spirituality.

Instead of hanging out in that unknown, in that limitless space of potentiality, I retreat into the comfort of my own bedazzled cage, and then wonder why I am living this "spiritual" life yet still longing for freedom, peace, and basic connection.

I'm not ever going to feel free if I'm in a cage, even if that cage is painted with murals of God.


Part 2: Direct Experience

I invite you to make this inquiry; the next time you or someone else wants to use the word "spiritual" (or God, Love, Energy), first ask yourself, "What am I actually experiencing in this moment?" Pause and notice, “Are there any sensations in my body? Is there a dominant emotion connected to this experience? Is my mind struggling to find meaning within predetermined beliefs or concepts?” If you cannot connect to exactly what you are experiencing here and now, see if you can find the courage to let go... Just let go and be with the experience.

I think it's important to acknowledge that there is something profound and universal, that most people experience, which the mind struggles and ultimately fails to comprehend. Words like God, Spirituality, and Energy are all pointers toward that experience, but the moment that it's labeled it becomes a limited approximation of the real thing. This dilemma is much more an example of the limitation of words than it is a limitation in our ability to experience what the words are pointing to.

If I suspend the need to define, label, or in any way understand what's arising in my experience, eventually the meaning of that experience is confirmed within the direct experience itself. I believe that spirituality is ultimately a search for meaning. And, I notice that the meaning of an experience is inherent within that experience before I label it ("spiritual", or otherwise). The obvious question then becomes, "Is that label necessary for me to know the truth of what that label is pointing to?"  I implore you to check this out for yourself.

A friend came to me recently and was complaining about a painful experience she had with her friend.  My friend concludes her remarks with something like, "Trust me, he's a slime bag!"  

I love my friend, I want to support her.  Unconsciously I also want her to love, appreciate, and approve of me... As I was sitting there with her I watched my mind spin in the unknown, "What if it's true that he's a slime bag?  Maybe she is in danger.  Maybe I should do something about this...!"  

But then I noticed that, if I'm honest, I really don't know what this man is like. I've never actually met the man! I noticed my mind wanting to align with her story in order to satisfy my ego's need to feel safe and secure in my friendship with her.  Instead of defaulting to believing her, I let go of any judgment of him and returned to what I did know; that my friend is in pain and I care about her deeply. That's the only thing I know for sure.

Without the confirmation of my direct experience I am just another believer. I have to lean into some kind of blind faith or trust that my friend is being honest with me, or follow the vague shadow of past knowns and future possibilities to know what's true. Some days I might falter and seek to fill the gaping void of the unknown with judgments or well educated presuppositions, "Yeah, what an ass; he shouldn't talk to you that way!"  On a good day I might try to leap over the unknown with a healthy dose of faith, "Oh, sweetheart, it's all going to work out in the end..."  

But, on the best of days, and at the final calling..., faith always yields to direct experience.  I won't know what that man is actually like until I experience him for myself.  Similarly, if I want to be honest about my life and how I communicate it to myself and others, I need to practice sharing things that are confirmed by my direct experience.

I don't want to be a believer. I don't want to follow in anyone else's footsteps. I don't want to believe anything anyone ever tells me, no matter how spiritual or God-like it sounds. I need to prove it for myself, otherwise I am just a slave in the machine of mass suffering, oppression, and victimhood. 

If I don't taste it for myself I will still be hanging by the precarious threads of belief.  It's ok to believe as long as I'm ok with being in a position of impotence and dependability. But I don't like being in that position. I don't like being a victim. I'd rather know it for myself, then I am empowered and secure with direct knowledge. Anyone can challenge my beliefs, but no one can challenge my direct experience.

It seems to me that every atrocity that has ever transpired on this planet happened under a blood-stained banner of beliefs. I want to put that banner down. I want to have the courage to not know what this experience means or where any of it is going. I want to take responsibility for all of my labels, especially the glittery spiritual, religious, or new age ones, and stand in the fire of my own Truth.

I want abandon belief and stand in the only confirmation I will ever get; My direct experience.



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The Best I Can Do Is Bow

I was recently speaking with some dear friends about Gods and Gurus. One of my friends made a declaration that created a huge response inside me. He said that he would, "...never again bow at someone else's feet..."

There was honor and a deep sacrement of self-empowerment in his statement.  A proclamation of freedom and sovereignty that highlighted his liberation as a man from any form of victimhood.  In essence he was saying that he no longer needed to bow at the feet of anyone else because he was so deeply established in his own autonomy.

Self-knowledge, self-responsibility, self-reliance; these seem to be high attainments in our culture.  If a man or woman walks into a room and everyone can sense that s/he can take care of themselves and is basically at ease in themselves, this is considered a tremendous accomplishment.

Even though I myself acknowledge and respect a completely self-sufficient individual, and even though I respect the autonomy that comes with not needing to bow at the feet of anyone else, it is not respect or admiration that woke up in me when my friend spoke those words.

When he spoke something happened in me which almost brought me to tears right on the spot.  I almost fell to my knees upon hearing my heart's wisdom exploding in my own mind, "I would bow at the feet of ANYONE...!"

While skillfully choking back my tears I realized in an instant that there was no one, no thing that I would not bow before, that I would not lower my head and heart to pay my respect to.  Men, women, murderers, kings, infants, cripples, beggars, sages, insects, elements, deities, thieves, animals, galaxies, etc... All things manifest and unmanifest came into the center of my heart, and I knew directly without thought or reason that there is no person or thing that is not absolutely sacred.

I don't know how I knew this, and I don't know why it would be important to bow before any and all manifestations, but the simple fact is there will never be a way for me to repay the generosity of this life that I've been given... And so, in gratitude, the best I can do... is bow...

Every day, I bow...  I bow in gratitude to all that I am and all that I've been given.

I don't think I will ever understand the sacredness in all things and my impulse to bow to that sacredness (in all its forms).  I just know that it's the most important thing I can do, the most important part of my day, the most important gesture I can offer back.

To me, that sacredness is the Source from which all creations emerge.  That Source is the engine behind all hearts beating, the silence between all sounds heard, the energy that animates all of our thoughts... It was Source that awakened in me when my friend was speaking and did that anyoying little tap on my proverbial shoulder, "Psst, hey, by the way, every being in existence came from Me (Source)...; take a knee, bro..."

I bow to you because you came from Source, and I bow to you as that Source.  You are not beneath me or above me.  We came from Source and everything returns to that Source.  No, we are not the same in our form, but we are the same in our source. No, we don't have to practice the same religion or agree on what political party to support, but we can agree on our source.  Oh, you like strawberry?  Rad, I dig mint chocolate cookie.  Let's agree that all flavors of ice-cream come from the same source!

You don't have to bow to anyone else.  That is my own way of paying respect to all of Life...  But I do urge you to consider this:  If there is something in this life that you feel does not deserve your respect, something that you willingly, automatically, or unconsciously withhold your love from, find out what needs to move in you to allow that love and respect to flow again... Commit everything to that...

Until there is nothing left in this world that I would not give my love to, that I would not bow to, I am not free.  Giving my love freely does not mean that I condone, agree with, or support it, it means that I love it without conditions.

Love without conditions is experienced as freedom...

I want to be free.  I want you to be free.

I bow to you.

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Speaking In The Present

I was speaking with a friend recently about her life and she was telling me about all the things that have transpired in the last week.  She seemed sad and generally dissatisfied with her life.  At one point she got excited and started talking about a new relationship that was possibly forming.  She got about 2 sentences in to the description when again her energy started to plummet back into despair.

It was at that point that I noticed a pattern in her way of speaking that seemed to be contributing to her sense of discontent. I noticed that every time she spoke she was talking in the past tense.  This made sense for certain parts of her story to be recounted to me, but it was also systemically problematic because there was never a time in her sharing when her mind could rest in this moment.

What is so important about this present moment in relation to our daily satisfaction?  

Simply put, the present moment is the only moment in which anything ever takes place, and therefore the only moment in which satisfaction can be experienced.  

If I'm talking about a painful experience then the habit of speaking in the past tense holds some benefit to me since I will effectively avoid feeling the pain of that experience now.  Similarly, if I want to refer to a pleasurable or beautiful experience and I am speaking about it in the past tense then I will also be exempt from experiencing that pleasure and beauty as I'm talking.  Speaking in the past means I miss the present moment. 

Speaking in the past is like telling a story about it that is somehow far away.  It creates distance and separation from the direct experience. If I speak about my experience in the present tense then it brings the thoughts, feelings, and sensations of that experience right here and now.  Even if I am referencing the past I can still speak of it in a way that honors the feelings and sensations that come along with that story now.  

Good story tellers know that one of the secrets to telling a story really well is being able to invoke deep feelings in the listeners as they are listening.  If I"m not drawn into the story right now as I am listening then it won't be an enjoyable story to me.

Here's an easy example to demonstrate what I mean:

Let's say that I walk into my kitchen and on the counter is a piece of paper and next to the paper is a slice of cheesecake.  On the piece of paper is a detailed description of what cheesecake tastes like.  Which one is going to satisfy my hunger more, reading the story about cheesecake or taking a bite of the real cheesecake? Um, duh, eating the actual cheesecake!

The words on the page are similar to the words in my mind; they are empty and will never satisfy my hunger.  Only the direct experience of eating cheesecake and being totally present to that experience will satisfy my hunger.

Even still, I may take a bite of the actual cheesecake, but if my mind is thinking in the past I also won't enjoy it.  If my mind is in the past I'll miss the experience I'm having right now, "Wow, remember that time I had cheesecake in Vienna?!"  The exact moments I was lost in thoughts of Vienna I was also not here tasting cheesecake.  

You can see now why some people compulsively overeat.  They become so anxious and stressed while they are eating that by the time they've finished their meal they haven't tasted one bite! They eat more because they weren't actually present to the experience of eating; they missed it!

Similarly, future thinking is just the past projected into the future, "Wow, this cheesecake would be way better if we had some whipped cream..."  How do you know to think that whipped cream would potentially enhance your cheesecake?  Because you had that experience sometime in the past!  Past thinking is thoughts about the past, and future thinking is thoughts about the past projected into the future.

Bringing my attention into this moment is a sensual experience because I literally have to reference my senses to speak about the experience I am having.  If I speak in the past tense then I am already at least one step removed from the experience and even the most ecstatic story will be (at best) half as satisfying as the real thing. Speaking in the past tense is disconnecting, unsatisfying, and destroys the possibility of intimacy and satisfaction.  

Ultimately, it's not about the cheesecake, it's about learning to direct my mind into this present moment and speaking from that place so that all the satisfaction that is already here can be taken in and experienced.  When I catch myself speaking in the past, I can pause and ask myself, "What am I experiencing right now?"  I can see what it's like to share what feelings and sensations arise for me as I reference my direct experience.  I can take a bite of cheesecake and describe to my friend what it's like now, and avoid speaking in the past, "Mmm, I notice a soft sensation in my mouth, and my heart is fluttering a bit.  I feel happy and my face is suddenly warmer...".  

Isn't speaking in the present tense sexy?!



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The Power of Being a Nobody

This is dedicated to all the people who want to be free and who suffer from the chronic disease of "I am not enough."
I bless you...
----------------------------------------------------------------

For many years I have engaged in a relentless pursuit of happiness through the hope of being a Somebody.  What is a Somebody?  A Somebody is the person who I think I am.  My identity.
Being a Somebody means I know who I am, what I stand for, my values, opinions, and beliefs.  It means that when other people refer to me they say things like, "Oh, yes, Sarkis, he's a therapist", or, "I know Sarkis, he's a dancer." "Sarkis, hmm, is he that bearded guy that wears pink pants and is never wearing a shirt...?"

Being a Somebody means that who I am is defined by some aspect of what I do or what I have done in the past.  If I am a lawyer, then that is true because I study or practice law.  If I am a soccer player, that is dependent on the fact that I play soccer.

But is this really who I am?  Is who I am defined by what I do?

No!

Actually, being a Somebody has nothing at all to do with what I do.  Who I think I am, the Somebody that I believe myself to be, is entirely dependent on one thing alone: Belief!

If I believe that I am a soccer player and other people believe that I am a soccer player then that is the Somebody that the world identifies me as.

This pursuit of being a Somebody at first seems innocent, but the second I embark on being a Somebody then it immediately follows that I have to be a better Somebody, an important Somebody, a successful Somebody, and so on.  Once I engage in trying to be a Somebody then that identity becomes heavily burdened by the need to live up to the image of my ideal Somebody.  Trying to live up to my idealized self-image creates an internal struggle because it's impossible to actually live up to that ideal.

Trying to live up to my idealized self-image creates a deep shadow of unworthiness.   With any exertion I make toward an idealized self I will at some point experience the deficient opposite of that identity.  If I'm pushing in my life to be a successful writer then it automatically follows that  I will fear the deficient identity; being a failed writer, an unknown writer, a boring writer...

The crazy thing is, this idealized self is totally made up!  This Somebody is a complete fabrication that is just a collection of recycled thoughts.  There is no identity, really.  Just a thought that "I am a writer" repeating endlesly in my mind.

There's nothing wrong with thinking I'm a Somebody, as long as I don't attach to that thought.  If I attach to that thought I may experience any number of highs and lows in my emotional life, but the end result will very often be the same:  I will suffer.

There's no way around this.  All suffering comes from believing thoughts that aren't true.  If I believe I am a peaceful man then whenever I feel anger I'll have to suffer the loss of my identity.  If I believe I am powerful because I have lots of money, then I have to suffer tremendously when I lose all my money in the stock market crash.  If I believe that who I am is being a mother, then my peace is dependent on the life of my children.  This dependency on identity is the root of suffering...

Spoiler Alert!:  If you examine all the deepest and most painful experiences you've ever had in your entire life, there will be one thing common to all of them; ...YOU!  You are at the center of all your problems.  Take away the identity, the "me", and there is no problem.  I don't mean to say that you are causing your problems or that you are a victim of your problems.  I mean that attaching in any way to an identity (which are just thoughts) is what creates the sense of suffering.  No you, no suffering.

There is power in being a Nobody because then there is nothing to lose.  I can still play soccer, practice law, and drink my green tea latte every day and enjoy every ecstatic moment of it.  But once I attach to the belief that I am a soccer player, I am a lawyer, I am that guy who drinks green tea latte's every day, then I set myself up for a big fall.  The more entrenched I am in my attachment the deeper the suffering I will experience.  The less attached I am to being a Somebody the more freedom I will experience.

How do I avoid the suffering of being a Somebody?  Well, first, see what it's like to be a Nobody for a day.  See what it's like to suspend the impulse to take ownership of your thoughts and feelings and instead be present to what experiences are arising in you now, without attaching to them.

Instead of saying, "I am sad" (which is a statement that turns the feeling of sadness into an identity of sadness), try saying to yourself, "I notice sadness arising...".  The first way turns sadness into a heavy entity which then has to be in opposition to whatever else wants to arise in awareness in that moment.  It's like tying the boat of attention to a dock of sadness and staying fixated there.  Can you feel how limiting that is, and how that limitation immediately brings with it a sense of suffering?

The second way puts the focus of attention on the one who is observing sadness as an experience that is temporarily arising in consciousness.  It's like sitting by a river, profoundly awake to every moment, and noticing sadness as it gently (or sometimes very roughly) passes by.  Can you feel that when I identify with the Observing aspect of consciousness there comes with that an inherent sense of freedom and peace?

Sense it now... Pause and sense how when experiences are allowed to come and go, without identifying with them, there is a profound spaciousness that has built into it satisfaction and peace.

This is the power of being a Nobody.  Being a Nobody means that I do not attach to any of my thoughts, feelings, sensations, impulses, ideas, theories, concepts, attitudes, or beliefs... I take no position and am therefore never in opposition... Therein lies the freedom and peace I've been searching for my entire life.

Once life shifts away from the confinement of being a specific Somebody, then I am absolutely free to be anybody!  I am free to experience anything at any time.  I allow anything and everything to arise within me.  And, what is the catchy word that people use to describe the anything and everything of life?  .................. God.

Oops.

Wait, did he just say that the power of being a Nobody means that I am God?

Yup.



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Ten Thousand Bricks To Enlightenment

Imagine that I want to hike to the top of a mountain because i've heard that at the top of the mountain is lasting fulfillment and freedom.

Now imagine that every piece of knowledge and learning I acquire in my life is a brick.  

All of my ideas, longings, and beliefs are heavy bricks.  All these bricks are acquired with the presumption that they are necessary to make it to the top of the mountain. The bigger and more important the idea, the stronger I hold onto it, the heavier it is, and the more room it takes up in my backpack.

I seek, collect, and desperately hold onto these bricks because I believe that each of them are invaluable assets in my longing to reach the top.  I believe that without them it is impossible to reach my goal, and without that goal my life is destined for suffering and mediocrity.

I need to reach the top of the mountain for my life to have meaning and these bricks are essential in this ultimate attainment.

At a certain point, my need to aquire more bricks directly conflicts with my need to summit the mountain.  A challenging choice presents itself to me; either I keep aquiring bricks and be crippled in my attempt to ascend the mountain, or I can begin discarding my bricks in hopes of continuing my journey to the top and lose all the knowledge i've acquired.

This is a profound dilema because both of these choices seem to be the anihilation of what I want.  If I don't reach the top of the mountain I will not attain lasting fulfillment. If I let go of all that I know (if I discard all of my brilliantly polished bricks) I will lose the very keys to my salvation.

It seems that either choice I make is the wrong one!  Both choices bring despair and devestation to all that I've ever longed for. Each choice feels like I'm choosing my own death.

I sit down on the ground, exhausted and weary from my life-long battle for fulfillment. For no other reasons other than exhaustion and defeat, I temporarily take off my backpack and set it down on the ground.

Suddenly, a light breeze touches my face and I'm overcome with a sense of peace I've not known for a very long time. I'm somehow baffled to discover that life is teeming all around me. A deep inhalation of breath fills my lungs, and as I exhale it's as if I am seeing everything fresh and new for the first time.  For a reason I cannot pinpoint, a relaxed clarity and awakeness has spontaneously returned to me...

I wonder to myself, How is this possible? Which one of the bricks in my pack is making this experience accessable to me?  I put my bag back on to search through the bricks, convinced that the answer to my fulfillment lay in the heavy knowledge i've aquired. Without quite realizing it, a subtle stress returns to my heart, mind, and body.  The heaviness of the bricks instantly weighs me down, bringing with it feelings of confusion and overwhelm. 

I reach into my pack, eager to find the brick that will lift the fog of suffering. One at a time I take bricks out, inspect them, then set them down on the ground.  With each brick I take out a great pain moves through my heart.  I feel despair, and it's like i'm re-experiencing all the pain I had to go through to acquire that brick.  But, as I place it on the Earth, I sense a lightness and spontaneity that is strangely familiar... I am convinced that I'm getting closer to finding it though because for every brick I remove that familiar feeling of levity becomes more accessible to me.

The process of removing bricks from my pack becomes so ecstatic that I temporarily forget why I am doing it.  Each brick removed brings a deeper level of satisfaction and contentment. I feel lighter and more alive than i've ever felt.  I'm happy and I don't even know why...

Finally, when all the bricks have been removed, I take my pack off and lay down on the Earth.  A strange peace seems to be emanating from every cell of my body and being.  A peace that quenches any and every desire i've ever had.  A contentment that is free from the weight of any brick I can acquire...

A sun blooms in my belly and I smile at the pile of bricks stacked next to me.  I feel love for those bricks... I stand and pick up my pack.  It's light and wonderfully unencumbered.  I put it on and begin to walk down the mountain.

I am a happy man with an empty backpack, free from the weight of beliefs.  I don't know where I am going or what exactly I will do from here... All I know is that I am happy, empty, and free...



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